Family

« God places the solitary in families », comforting words drom the bible… families, by blood, by obligation, by necessity, by desire… And sometimes if one is verlucky, by love, it is a word that implies solidity, a rock of solid foundation, a place to go home to… to grow out of… to grow away from, and yet to remember and hang onto… The echoes never leaving ones ears or ones heart, the memories carved like painted ivory, carved from a single tusk, delicately clored in brilliant hues, faded sometimes, so dim as to be totally forgotten or left behind, the place where one begins and hopes to end… the thing one works hard to build on ones own… the pieces like building bocks reaching high into the sky…family….what images that conjures….what memories…what dreams…imagine.

Sammi

At tangay prison for women 2015

Poem by Pamela

It’s dark know.

Each day darker,

Darker than before.

Longing for before.

Before.

When there was no longing.

It hurts now.

Each day deeper

Deeper than before.

Longing for before.

Before.

When there was no pain.

There used to be light,

There used to be dreams,

Before the nightmares,

Before.

When there was sunlight.

It’s war now,

Each day a battle,

Harder than before.

Longing for tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

When i’ll be free.

Caged bird

Wings clipped by injustice,

Voice muted by court’s roar,

But stin it’s sow soars.

Bricks and bars cannot keep it captive.

Wings its way westward,

With love.

Home.

It’s time to sing, Sparrow.

Pamela Mattock Porter.

Why 

Why does it seem like i always fail ?

Why do i relaps and come to jail ?

I cannot blame it on the past or the fact that i took that last blast. Maybe it’s because i don’t learn, maybe it’s for my children i yearn. Maybe it from all the hurt and pain or the blood that poured from my body likerain. Maybe it’s cause i’ve never been scared, maybe it’s from the denial and pride, maybe it’s cause the people who lied. I’m only here for a little white, to them i’m just another file. I’ve learnt many lessons and did a lot of time, i emotinally paid a huemongous fine, i want to change, to live any different it seems very strange. But i have faith in myself and others around, i refuse to be hurt and treated like a hound, i will be strong and free, humble and wise i will see life through different eyes i’ve suffered, i’ve been hurt, i’ve been through the pain, i don’t want to be cruel like them, i have nothing to gain, to others like me.

Please take my advice, love yourself and other and love the gift of life.

Catherine Williams